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Subject:
From:
Norbert Klein <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Norbert Klein <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 16 Nov 2008 12:01:12 +0200
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Thanks, Milton, for the huge amount of work done.

> I'd like to send this to the Board in a week or so, so if you are
> interested in the future structure of the NCSG please review it and
> voice your approval, or propose modifications. 

So I have some notes, not on substance, where I agree with your draft, but 
more on some small points - you know I am living in a non-English speaking 
environment, and I have often to explain to others here what might be clear 
among the experts elsewhere.

Sorry that it is long, but I include the context for identification.


Norbert

= 
A clarification suggested:

"2.0	Organization and Membership
2.1	Composition 
The NCSG shall consist of four distinct parts: the Membership, Constituencies, 
an Executive Committee and a Policy Committee. The Membership shall consist 
of organizations and individuals that meet the Membership criteria and 
complete the processes set out in Section 2.2. The Executive Committee, led 
by the Chair,..." 

I suggest to say "the Chair of the NCSG" to avoid the misunderstanding that it 
is "...the Chair of the Executive Committee..." - the term "the Chair is 
defined much further down only. I think it is useful to have the terms clear 
when they show up first.
= 

= =
Minor points and an explanations for not so well versed non-native speakers of 
English (I want to show this also to colleagues here and avoid getting such 
questions back; this is a general concern for ICANN etc. insider language 
which disregards the multi-cultural basis of the Internet users).

"2.2.2. 	Ineligible organizations. The membership of the NCSG specifically 
excludes:
1. Political organizations whose primary purpose is to hold government office 
and/or ct government officials;2. Commercial organizations and associations 
of or for the benefit of commercial entities (even if they are non-profit in 
form) such as industry trade associations;
3. Organizations that provide services under contract or MoU with ICANN; 
4. Organizations that are represented in ICANN through another Supporting 
Organization or other GNSO Stakeholder Group. However, organizations and 
individuals that participate in ICANN’s At Large Advisory Committee are not 
excluded by this criterion, though they may be excluded by the other three." 

"...and/or to elect government..."
"...contract or a Memorandum of Understanding with..."
",,,or other GNSO Stakeholder Groups" or "...or another GNSO Stakeholder 
Group"
= =

= = =
"...may participate in NCSG listservs..." 
I suggest to say instead: "may participate in NCSG mailing lists" throughout 
the text.
= = =

= = = =
"2.2.5.	Individuals. Individuals can also be members of the NCSG. 
2.2.5.1. Eligible individuals include:
a) Individuals who register domain names for personal or family uses of a 
predominantly noncommercial nature; 
b) Individual Internet users who are primarily concerned with the public 
interest aspects of domain name policy and are not represented in ICANN 
through membership in another GNSO Stakeholder Group or the ccNSO;" 

Suggested change for clarification, as the term ccNSO shows up first here, to:
"...or the Country Code Names Supporting Organisation (ccNSO);"

Same for "...PDP" when it shows up first, change to "... Policy Development 
Process (PDP)..."
= = = =

= = = = =
I do not understand the following clearly:

"3.4.1	...Their function is to a leadership role in translating the common 
goals and priorities of the SG into ICANN GNSO-approved policies, and  to 
oppose and prevent the passage of ICANN policies harmful to the interests of 
NCSG members. "

Is it something like this:

"Their function is to translate the common goals and priorities of the  
Noncommercial Users Stakeholders Group into ICANN GNSO-approved policies, or 
to oppose and prevent the passage of policies harmful to the interests of 
NCSG members."
= = = = =

= == = = =
"3.6.1	...All member organizations and individuals must be a visible node in 
that site."

Sorry, I do not understand the language - what does it mean that I "must be a 
visible node in that site"? I checked here with friends - obviously I am not 
the only one who does not understand this.
== = = = =



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