It looks much better.

In Process Issues when you mention the lack of GNSO involvment
it says "there has no GNSO process..." I believe it should be
"there has been no GNSO process..."

In the section about the CRA recommendations, point to still
says "...registrar does not sell second-level domains name
subscriptions in the TLDs operated by the registrar"

I still believe it should say "TLDs operated by the registry"

I guess when you talk about the CRA you are referring at the
document that is dated 12Feb09. This is the link of the one I found
at ICANN's site:
http://www.icann.org/en/topics/new-gtlds/regy-regr-separation-18feb09-en.pdf

Is there any other version of the report ?

Perhaps it could be useful to add a concrete reference/link to the
report.

Also, in the proposed model in the CRA report (the one I pointed to)
there is an exception where a registrar should be able to sell names
from the affiliated registry up to a given threshold.

Am I reading the same report ? and what model do we support ?

My .02

Regards
Jorge